Many of Horror
by Baconaise-Light
Summary: Draco/Ginny Draco/Astoria. After the war, Draco finds himself hating the life he has had built for him. So he finds comfort in another. Oneshot Songfic.


**Oneshot for the 'Ultimate Songfic challenge' On the Harry Potter fanfiction challenges board.**

**Song: Biffy Clyro- Many of Horror.**

**Pairing: Draco/Astoria and Draco/Ginny**

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'Don't leave Draco...'

'You know I have to.'

I glance back at you, half sitting amongst the crumpled sheets. your ginger hair fell over your knees as your reach forward, hugging them to your chest now as you gazes pleadingly up at me.

'I love you Ginny.'

_**You say "I love you boy"**__**  
**__**But I know you lie.**_

Astoria knows something is bothering me. She reaches for me, and hugs me to her chest. I tense in her arms, hating her smell- because it's not yours.

'I love you Draco'.

Liar.

_**I trust you all the same**__**  
**__**And I don't know why.**__**  
**_

For some reason I stay with Astoria. Reading to our son with her, kissing and holding her in bed, laughing along with our whole life, pretending its perfect. But when we make love, it's not her face I see; when I laugh with her I long to hear your laugh again.

_**'Cause when my back is turned,**__**  
**__**My bruises shine.**_

'A marriage of convenience is what mother called it.' My family was rich, hers was powerful- and with father in Azkaban, we needed to regain some of our previous social status. I begged with her, I pleaded with her to reconsider, but in the end she won.

She would always win.

_**Our broken fairytale,**__**  
**__**So hard to hide.**_

Sometimes it was so hard to continue living a lie. I felt like standing up and screaming at the world. I loved my family, of course I did. But they weren't what I wanted.  
Astoria pretended as well; only she did it better than me. Sometimes I myself even believed that she loved me.

_**I**_ _**still believe,**__**  
**__**It's you and me**__**  
**__**till the end of time.**_

So now my life had become full of these lies. At home I pretended everything was okay. But every weekend on my 'business trips' was when I really could be myself. That's when I really felt alive. _**  
**_  
_**When we collide we come together,**__**  
**__**If we don't, we'll always be apart.**_

We all knew it couldn't last. I suppose I wished it would. I suppose I wished I could continue living like this- to continue living my secret life.

The war had changed us- you said it had changed me especially. I suppose I felt empty without my father's guidance. That was when you and I had grown close. There were so many deaths during that last battle at Hogwarts that the survivors clung together in some desperate need of comfort; I found mine in you.

_**I'll take a bruise i know you're worth it.**__**  
**__**When you hit me, hit me hard.**_

I wished I could love Astoria. If only it were that simple. She was hurting, I know she was. She didn't have anyone but her family. Sometimes I didn't even bother to make excuses for why I was going away. We all knew.

You didn't make it much easier. Crying, begging me to run away with you. I would never say yes. We both knew that my status still meant more to me than anything else could. My whole family would be ruined.

'I really hate you Ginny.'

'Liar.'

_**Sitting in a wishing hole,**__**  
**__**Hoping it stays right.**_

Of course, as much as I wished it to, it didn't last.

When Astoria found out it was you, she screamed and threw things at me. I loved her more than anything then. I just didn't love her enough.

_**Feet cast in solid stone,**__**  
**__**I got Gilligan's eyes.**_

You left soon after. You said you couldn't stand to be around like this. You couldn't stand to break up another family for a promise that I was never going to keep.

I cried when you left. I never cry. _**  
**_  
_**I still believe,**__**  
**__**It's you and me**__**  
**__**till the end of time.**__**  
**_  
Mother said I was being ridiculous. I had a loving family and I was throwing it all away. I guess she was right.

But I still felt empty without you. I found it harder to pretend back at home. Astoria and I argued more, and though we tried to hide it most of the time, I could still see the tiredness behind her eyes.

_**When we collide we come together,**__**  
**__**If we don't, we'll always be apart.**_

'So how old's young Scorpius now?'

'Oh, he'll be eight next month.'

'Eight? Wow, they really grow up fast, don't they?'

I wanted to be there for my boy; which is why I didn't leave I suppose. My father had let me down before in so many different ways- allowed me to be corrupted by the influence of the Dark Lord. I didn't want to do the same to my boy.

_**I'll take a bruise i know you're worth it.**__**  
**__**When you hit me, hit me hard.**_

It was going well for a while. But then you had to go and ruin it by coming home.

I ran to meet you at the train station that day. I was so happy, I just wanted to see your beautiful face and hear that sweet, sweet laugh of yours again.

_**'Cause you said hello,**__**  
**__**It's where the going get's hard,**_

You were laughing as your stepped off the train that day. I could barely contain myself as I began to run forwards towards you, longing to hold you in my arms again.

But your were with _him._

Smiling as he stepped down from the train, you took his hand and smiled at him. Your _real_ smile. The one that used to be directed at me.

He whispers something to you and you giggle- a small blush spreading across your perfect cheeks. Harry Potter. The one that got everything. The one that got _you._

_**Our future is far,**__**  
**__**Many of horror**__**  
**__**Our future's far,**__**  
**__**Many of horror**__**  
**__**Our future is far,**__**  
**__**Many of horror**_

I watch you walk off with him, hand in hand, melting back into the crowd again. For a moment I think you glance briefly at me, and raise me hand slightly in a wave. But you aren't really looking _at_ me, and your gaze soon returns to him.

I walk home slowly, and fall into the arms of my wife. Because she's the one that's really there. You left me for him. Astoria will always be here.

_**I still believe,**__**  
**__**It's you and me**__**  
**__**till the end of time.**_

'You, Astoria, you and Scorpius are my life now.'

This time she doesn't call me a liar, and smiles at me, wrapping her arms round my waist. I lean in and breath in her scent- your scent is fading with time now. _**  
**_  
_**When we collide we come together,**__**  
**__**If we don't we'll always be apart.**__**  
**_

I made my choice when I chose to honour my mother's wishes. Now I have to do the honourable thing and live out my life with the woman that I only love second best.

_**I'll take a bruise i know you're worth it.**__**  
**__**When you hit me, hit me hard.**_

Sometimes I still dream about you. But Astoria is the one who's there when I wake up.

Someday I may love her as much as I loved you.


End file.
